When you hear the term self-care, you usually think of manis, pedis, and bubble baths. Those can be PART of self-care, but it isn't the whole story.
Self-care is what happens after you've met your most basic needs of food, shelter, and water.
Self-care should be nurturing, like the things you do for the people you love deeply. Self-care comes from self-worth and should eventually come from intrinsic motivation or you won't keep doing it.
Self-care is both physical and psychological. Addressing things like perfectionism, people pleasing, stress, and worrying about what other people think are forms of psychological self-care. You should be spending most of your time on this type of self-care. When you figure these things out, life gets better in so many ways.
You might say things like, "I want to lose weight so I can be healthy." That's good, but what you're really saying is, "I'm trying to change myself into someone I won't insult anymore." (Jason Seib) When you stand on the scale and you've gained a few pounds, you don't say, "I'm less healthy today." You say things like, "I'm such a loser. Why can't I stick to my diet?"
A weight loss goal that IS self-care would be wanting to lose weight to do more of the things that make you happy--rock climbing, hiking, traveling, and a million other things.
Losing weight doesn't make you healthier, getting healthier makes you lose weight.
Not only do you lose weight when you get healthier, you get bonuses like better digestion, more energy, better skin and hair and the list goes on.
If you beat yourself into submission to get to goal weight, you'll never keep the weight off. You'll just be a thinner version of the person who still thinks poorly about yourself, while procrastinating, people pleasing, etc.
How can you nurture yourself, the same way you would nurture someone you love dearly?
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